annavere | Entries tagged with writing

To do list, for reference...

Two more episodes of Doctor Who to finish out series 9. I'm gonna pace myself through that.

Meanwhile, breaking that up with a rewatch of Teen Wolf, 3B. I'm pretty much writing this installment in order, so I watch an episode, sketch it out, and then move forward. While keeping an eye out for dropped plot threads and vanishing characters.

Four scenes of Sidelined, chapter two, are waiting to get finished. It'll be a lot shorter than the first chapter. Gotta cobble that together when the motivation hits.

There was a copy of Highlander: The Raven on YouTube, and I was planning to get to it next, but it appears to have been taken down since. This is a shame, as I am seeking a reentry point to the distracting cheer of fannish conversation (here or on Discord). Sigh. I will have to strategize.

It's a rainy day. I finished In Abeyance this morning, which owing to circumstances, is the hardest thing I have ever had to write, but now it is behind me, and I think it accomplished what I wanted it to.

It's also the longest thing I've written, at 34,754 words. Because of course.

Haven't had much heart for writing since my last post on the topic, but there are now five scenes left to finish on In Abeyance.

1. ~~Requires some quick canon review and is a really short scene.~~

2. ~~Is a headache setting up various nuanced character arcs going forward and trying to crowbar some logic into freaking Teen Wolf.~~

3. Requires significant dialogue among the five people in the scene, including a sincere apology from Derek Hale, and again has to justify a bunch of weird decisions that the show "justified" with a jump cut.

4. Is a villain monologue. Preceded by a bunch of action, so canon review for this will require me to hit pause every two seconds to note which werewolf is getting thrown in what direction. Lydia rarely has to witness action scenes, thankfully.

5. ~~Is the big creepy crescendo and was mostly done in December. Needs a few connecting paragraphs.~~

~~Home stretch...~~

And done! HTML up next.

Just to keep my motivation somewhat high, writing wise:

The last chapter of In Abeyance had eight scenes left to finish this morning. It is now down to seven.*

The next chapter of Sidelined feels overlong, so I think I will split it at a logical point I found. If so, that only has six scenes left to do.

*Edit: Down to six! Thank you, cheerleaders!

Current Mood: determined

Because I really need two multi-chapter stories being posted at once. It's another Jeremiah AU sprouting from the first season finale. It's also the tropiest thing I have yet attempted, and would not stop growing during the past couple years toying with it. So at least the first chapter is now done.

Sidelined
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/F
Fandom: Jeremiah (TV)
Relationship: Theo Coleridge/Erin
Characters: Theo Coleridge, Erin
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, On the Run, Female Friendship, Women Being Awesome, concussion, temporary memory loss, Hurt/Comfort, Huddling For Warmth

I have no ETA on the second chapter. It is... fairly well-planned, at least. Wish me luck.

Trauma bonding. This refers to yet another subset of abuse dynamics, wherein trauma is used to create a bond with the abuser.

Not, as I thought, two or more traumatized people bonding over their horrific experiences.

There goes another of my tags...

For those who may be concerned I thought it might be time to make another post on the topic.

This will be behind a cut for people who want to skip. ( Read more... )

Seems like half of my reading list have already done this. I was going to abstain, but the result is surprisingly varied among my eleven fics, so it seems like a nice morning activity.

Rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

Most hits: Without a Witness - Teen Wolf, 19,986 words. Lydia's relationship with Peter during season two, and her attempts to gain some form of control over her situation. The majority of people would bounce hard off this pairing, but that still nets me 326 hits.

Second most kudos: A Crime Spree Waiting to Happen - Highlander, 4,226 words. Matthew attempting to keep Cory and Amanda from meeting, and then attempting to track them down during 'Money No Object.' My first fic exchange, 28 kudos.

Third most comments: Guests for the Weekend - Highlander, 7,622 words. Amanda, Anne and Richie foil a burglary by burgling. A total of 9 comment threads.

Fourth most bookmarks: No More Reason to Stay - Highlander, 11,495 words. Brian Cullen visits Darius a few years before their ends, and has flashbacks to his tormented relationship with MacLeod and his steady deterioration. Somehow acquired 3 bookmarks.

Fifth most words: Other Angels - Jeremiah, 11,765 words. Elizabeth fix fic. Was supposed to be about half the length and a single chapter, but my brain wouldn't cooperate.

Fewest words: A Lasting Impression - Highlander, 3,165 words. A Methos character study set during his introductory episode. Every word was a battle, hence so few of them.

So I have begun writing fic again. Just in very small doses. I have not gone near any of my lengthy projects, as they require mental bandwidth and enthusiasm. I don't want to compare this to actual physical therapy people need after accidents, but there is a mental aspect involving shock.

As such, I am poking at a set of Jeremiah vignettes I once envisioned and promptly backburnered the hell out of. They are short, simple, and mostly rather serene.

I am a newly timid writer, but the days are very long and there is relief in sitting down over something that is outside the tumult.

What I never fully registered, despite beginning to write fic (about an entire world of orphans, no less) after my father's death, is just how much of me and my life are reflected in what and who and which relationships I am compelled to write about. It is and has always been escapist, but it's also filled with processing, sometimes on very obvious levels and sometimes on thoroughly abstracted ones. I go through my files and see reflections of David everywhere, details and dynamics to shore up a scene, and it is really incredibly comforting. He was my life's companion, so of course he threads my stories.

So I am writing, a little bit. We'll see how it goes.

Shortcuts has concluded and it was an amazing feast. The perfect end to one year and start to another. I even managed to comment on all but four stories before reveals, despite a rocky real world week.

I wrote Guests for the Weekend for Coralysendria. I was apparently not hard to guess, which is fair. Like last year, it ended up being a somewhat comic adventure heavily featuring Amanda, and this time it became my first Highlander story to go beyond the timeline of the show.

( Creative process stuff. )

Current Mood: thankful

Time for me to natter about the things I finished this year and the stuff I'm planning on.

Main point of improvement this year was actually completing projects in a reasonably timely manner. Five works posted on AO3! The best I've ever managed before in a given year was three, so I'm really proud of this. It also means after three years on the site, I have finally achieved double digit numbers of work (11, baby). Small potatoes, I know, but for someone who spent my entire life before fanfiction dabbling at artistic efforts and barely finishing anything, this is kind of amazing.

( All the rest under a cut. )

As always, I am super grateful for all the good conversations I've had on DW, AO3 and Discord this year and hope there will be many more in the offing.

Yes, that's tomorrow, but I'll be working and it's a holiday, and today I'm just working, so today's the post.

Lessee....

For HLH Shortcuts, I've got an idea structured out, I know what I want it to do and more or less how to get there. I know what I need to fact check to make it happen and have open tabs on my computer glaring at me. Bits of it are coming together. I hope.

If I can get this done in a decent timeframe, I may even have time to finish one other fic before the year is over. I can dream, anyway.

I have 200 words of Hard Core Logo/Highlander fusion, plus a tornado of outline for the remainder.

I have 13,001 words of part two of my Teen Wolf series, not counting the extensive notes, or anything pertaining to later installments (and I have only twelve episodes left to watch and the show will be done at last *waves checkered flag*).

My other projects have been backburnered, to maintain my sanity.

I'm gonna try to remember and post one of these every month, to ~~nag scold guilt~~ keep myself on track with my projects.

Main focus has been my Erin/Theo story, which got bogged down by me forgetting what it started as. Most of my fic ideas begin from a semi-rational basis of "wouldn't it be interesting if..." and building from there. This one was conceived as self-indulgent wish fulfillment. Soon as I reconnected with that impulse and quit trying to rationalize every little thing, all my various chokepoints solved themselves like magic. It's up over 20,000 words now, and I'm mildly hopeful it sees the light of day this year.

But not too hopeful, because I do expect to sign up for HLH Shortcuts when that comes up - although I am somewhat petrified at the thought, I am certain I'll kick myself if I let me talk me out of participating.

That is the only other short project I am allowing myself to even consider. Once those two are off the table, I'm going to dedicate next year to purely focusing on my two series until some solid results are made.

Creative waffling and worry incoming. ( Read more... )

Haven't done one of these in a while because of the Teen Wolf mind virus.

My Jeremiah sequel stalled out (back in... May; great) over my usual intermittent plotting problems. So while I still opened the draft every week since my last update, it was mostly to beat my head in futility. Finally making some actual progress again, getting through the snarl.

And for the hell of it, a clip I wrote this morning, mostly to headcanon why Jeremiah's obsession with his dad completely obliterated his mom from the text: ( Read more... )

My second major project (because I really needed two *headdesk*) is my creeptastic Teen Wolf Lydia/Peter series, which is at least easy to map out, because it's woven through the copious holes in the canon plot. I'll get seasons 5 and 6 watched before the end of October, and then I'll have the complete picture to work with, and a full recap for where my story is going.

And the last part I worked on: ( Read more... )

Meanwhile, for a "short" project, I've got 17,000 words of a canon-divergent Jeremiah Erin/Theo survival roadtrip, which is amazingly far from completion, because I got bogged down in logistics (and I suck at logistics). I really wanted to get that done this year, but I am not currently hopeful.

And another clip, with Theo talking to an actual OC about Erin. ( Read more... )

Anyway, that's what I've been working on lately.

Finished editing my Teen Wolf fic in a fit of 4 a.m. insomnia. That's done, at 19,986 words. I will probably do a sequel once I finish the show, because Lydia is still breaking my heart and her chemistry with Peter is off the charts insane. This show was so popular in its heyday that even a rock bottom, creeptastic pairing like this had enough traction for Tumblr squeeing and delicious stacks of fanvids. It makes a change from the usual crickets.

Meanwhile, season three... Oh, who am I kidding, it's atrocious. Given the choice of character or plot, the writers pick plot every time. Aside from the fact that they write delightful and interesting characters and can't tell a comprehensible story to save their lives, this plays to their strengths. That they get away with such terrible plotting is beyond ludicrous. It has no right to be this entertaining. Five out of five. Actual notes when I finish 3A.

Hopefully my sanity recovers from this soon.

It's been three feverish weeks. At work, we finally hired some new people, but all at once so I've had one or two people to train and supervise every single day. Hence not being around here or on the shiny Blues Bar Discord, because I have not had the energy to engage, but there's light at the end of this tunnel, because the last trainee is finishing up this week.

During my spare time I wrote my Lydia/Peter Teen Wolf fic, which has topped out at 18,000 words and change. I didn't even know I could write that fast. Apparently it was cathartic.

I've been doing final edits and posting it now, but I'm trying to be kinder to myself and not force it to all go up in a day. I wouldn't expect anyone else to read a multi chapter work in a single sitting (I wouldn't expect anyone else to read this at all, to be honest, and am beyond grateful to those who have), let alone do final edits and formatting, so I'm telling myself it's okay to space out posting it a little. Two of the three chapters are up and I think having that breathing room is helpful to me.

I do feel a bit weird about this fic existing, though.

Without a Witness
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Category: F/M
Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV)
Relationship: Peter Hale/Lydia Martin
Characters: Lydia Martin, Peter Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Allison Argent, Jackson Whittemore
Additional Tags: Horror, Hallucinations, Nightmares, Controlling Behavior, Attempted Suicide, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, mindmeld confusion, psychological lovers, No actual sex, dark screwed up power couple in the making

I really just wanted to write a short fic giving Lydia some agency, and I guess I did (the agency part, not the shortness, which was a total fail), because it's very hard to find any season two fic for her and Peter that doesn't treat the whole scenario as a case of possession, and I completely differ in that interpretation. Still...

Is there a term for shipping something completely wrong and terrible?

Current Mood: ashamed isn't a mood, lucky me
Current Music: Massive Attack - Angel (theme song for this fic)

Found a closed Tumblr poll listing Reasons to Post Fic, most of which were not very applicable to me thus far, but a few were accurate.

"Here to make number go up in my blorbo's tag."

So much this. Aside from A Lasting Impression, all of my posted fic feature secondary or minor characters, and I get a charge out of clicking on those character tags and seeing my fic there, doing God's work. Shipping tags are the same way for me. Highly motivating.

"If I put it on Ao3 Maybe I'll Stop Editing it and can Finally Rest"

Tied for first place. Adding to the archive is the gleeful part of the equation. Finally escaping the editing process and being free of the text tormenting me every stray second is the exhausted, bedraggled, "Spike draped over a cross asking to rest" part of the process.

"I thought about blorbo and took 5d8 psychic damage, which is now YOUR problem"

Yep. Pretty much. Sorry about that.

"No one else is writing this trope? THIS TRAVESTY MUST BE RECTIFIED."

Sans the all caps, this is an accidental, but frequent, occurrence. I come up with an idea, think to myself "this is neat, I'm sure it's been done before," and then go looking for the fic I want to read. All too often, I come up empty, and then what choice do I really have?

"This is the best fucking thing I have ever written, you can read it if you want"

This is definitely part of the process, though it tends to manifest very early in writing and dissipates around the 3/4 mark (right when I need the motivation most) and then departs completely when I reach the final edit, leaving only shame and recrimination.

Missing from the list is anything to do with soul-hunger, which is mostly where the writing and posting impulses come from for me. Writing anything takes time, it's difficult and slow and I'm not sure there's a rational clicky-box that sums up why a person would do something like this for fun and relaxation. At least, that is my experience of the task.

Also missing is the spirit of generosity, wherein I sincerely hope that even if my stories are not perfect, they do others some good by existing.

I back my wordpad documents (along with some other stuff, photos, etc) up with a USB, but yesterday I discovered that a subfolder has become corrupted. Given I have a functioning laptop, I have not truly lost any information from this event, but it rang an alarm bell.

I'll be pulling everything off it before I try to fix the problem and get rid of the corrupted folder, but I'm also looking for secondary options. I thought one backup was all I needed, but now I'm questioning that wisdom.

Uploading files takes forever on my internet connection, so things like dropbox don't work that well. For documents, the quickest backup I've found is Google Drive, because I can just copy and paste stuff in, and it automatically saves. It's not perfect, because it requires internet and it doesn't save my prior formatting, but the text is what is truly important. So if/when my laptop bites it, I can sign in on Google and my stuff will be right there. In theory.

Current Mood: busy

Books:

Lately heard that Paul Auster has passed away. I went through a phase (twelve years ago at least) where I really enjoyed his work. I hope someday to return to being able to easily enjoy literary fiction, but I've been in a drought these past few years. This happened before I discovered fandom, or even started writing. Emotionally, it just wasn't making me happy anymore and I stopped trying to force it. I have recently been enjoying A Dance to the Music of Time, so maybe it's starting to turn around for me.

Television:

SGA is really turning into a bloodbath. Where did my happy show go?

Also, the loss of Elizabeth Weir really gutted the show's internal logic and narrative heart. I'm still enjoying the episodes and like the remaining characters, but it feels like an alternate dimension and I keep getting these pangs of loss.

Writing:

A dozen small changes made during my Jeremiah sequel rewrite have culminated in part nine being completely, top to bottom, wrong. The basic concept is still correct, but nigh every scene has characters not being where they are supposed to be or having inadequate reactions to events and each other. Complete reconfiguration is required. Less writing, more thinking and mapping. It was bound to happen at some point. I guess it's a good sign it took so long.

Taking advantage of this to reorganize my messy WIP folders, an overdue chore. I have segregated the plotbunnies into one single file, while everything that is mapped out enough to qualify for WIP status is getting a shiny individual file, and now I've got a cacophony of projects clamoring for my attention, tempting me away from my megalith.

Current Mood: tired

Part eight of Mirror, fully drafted! Not much to boast of, since it mostly consists of a bunch of people monologuing in a room. More exciting than it sounds? Well, to me... All 20,779 words... Anyway, since dialogue is the only part of writing I was actually reasonably competent at back then, most of it was easy to clean up, hence the double-quick turnaround.

The ending was a mess, though. That took some time to improve. Also, my lazy writing crutch of choice was apparently keeping secrets. I keep tripping over them and going "huh?" and then hacking away at them with a machete. A couple are actually integral to the character arcs, but the rest are weird and pointless, so then I have to go looking for a logical place to have character A just talk to character B like a sensible person.

Whenever I post one of these updates, it's never just the current portion I worked on, and always necessitates some small degree of alteration to some of the previous drafts as well.

Up next is part nine, which is when I realized on my first attempt at writing this over-ambitious fic that there were massive structural problems that needed to be dealt with before I could proceed, and consequently from here through part twelve (when I gave up) are an increasing number of placeholder scenes, present-tense recaps and hasty notes for "later." Oh dear...

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