Birdwings

I finished Sidelined. Kind of. Still need to send it to my beta. ♥

But since yesterday was a day off, I sat down and did almost nothing other than hammer out words toward the finish line. Now it's all put together, the last chapter, the glorified epilogue that was just supposed to tie up a couple loose threads...

And it's 16,200+ words. I think it's the longest chapter of the bunch.

I have used the energy and power of the rewind/fast forward button to mainline some Teen Wolf and make some progress with that WIP. I am down to three scenes in Counterclaims—all of which are from 'De-Void,' because I decided to write all the painful stuff first. I spent last night barreling through 'Insatiable' and am so, so glad to be almost through the bottleneck of having to describe character deaths and attendant responses. That part is all written and needed to be written and is done, and took forever because it legitimately upset me to work on it.

Meanwhile, when I first mapped the final chapter of the far rosier Sidelined, it had twenty necessary scenes overall, and over the course of writing, it has grown to twenty-eight. The story has been doing this since I started, so I'm not very surprised. Twelve of the scenes are still incomplete. The first chapter went up on March 21st last year, and I'm hoping I can at least beat that date, but can I finish it during this shortest month of the year? Will my remote control provide the energy boost needed to finally stagger past the checkered flag? Time will tell...

Serious goal for the year ahead: Shorter chapters. They snuck up on me and all of a sudden I realized I've been posting single chapters longer than the entire four chapters of Trust, and the resultant final edits and html take forever to weed through. And they're a lot to ask of a beta, I think. Shorter chapters! Seriously.

Erase/Rewind just got recontextualized as my ultimate anthem for frustrated fic writing.

Challenge #8

Talk about your creative process.

YES. MY TIME HAS COME. ( Read more... )

I hate leaving things unfinished, or partially done. I started Snowflake with the intention of doing every challenge, but I'm gonna have to bow out of Challenge #5, a wishlist venture. Asking for things? Nope. Sorry. Not happening. I am bad at that.

So, on to Challenge #6. Top 10 Challenge.



And I'm gonna have fun and talk about ten tropes I love. Which I guess could also count as a sneak wishlist, just without the actual request feature.

They're numbered but not ranked. I thought about giving canon or fanfic examples for each, but this post is long enough as is.

1. Conversations with dead people

An emotional trope. Things left unsaid, fears unspoken, last regrets to acknowledge. Literal ghost, or a dream sequence, or a hallucination. The question: Is it real or the character's subconscious? What does the visitation signify? The possibilities range from spooky to redemptive. It is a heady brew of emotion and mystery, breaking reality and showing facets a normal conversation never could.

2. Best friend with a death wish

Pure loyalty in every situation is a beautiful thing. Unfortunately for one half of this partnership, the other half is running pell-mell for the cliff. Cue angst. Cue anguish. Cue agony. This is a first rate shipping dynamic, when one half of the pairing is bent on self-destruction and the other half can only watch in dread. It's supposed to be ride or die, not ride and die. How do you save your partner from their own demons?

3. Redemption equals living

I hate the Redemption Equals Death trope. Hate it. It's a punitive narrative action that says redemption isn't actually possible, that all attempts will fail and the only real value to the reformed is to conveniently remove themselves from the picture, letting everyone else get on with their lives. It's why I love the Angel and Faith dynamic, where Angel spells it out clearly. Laying down and dying is easy, one big gesture and it's over. Living with your actions, that's the hard part. Getting up every day to fight the good fight, knowing it won't undo what was done. That's the bread and butter of a good character arc.

4. Hidden identities/spies

The perfect umbrella trope for all manner of exciting developments. Spy vs spy! Spy vs handler! Truths within lies and lies which contain truths! False lovers getting lost in character! Once you introduce spies, it is a delightful playground of difficult relationships, but I also love all the classic accessories: the hidden compartments, masquerade balls, secret codes and smiling facades. And thinking it over, I realize this is one of the reasons I am eternally fannish about Jeremiah: lots of double agents. My earliest fics centered on that topic. This is my JAM.

5. Token evil teammate

There's nothing better than the merciful heroes allowing a villain to live, from dire necessity against an existential threat or compassion as the antagonist falls on hard times. Then we get this trope, which I mostly call "villain in a cage." Literal or metaphorical, the important thing is they are momentarily captive. A good villain is a dark reflection of one or more good guys, a path not taken, a worst outcome. They sit there, unable to harm anyone physically, so they use truth as a weapon, they find every insecurity and push buttons just by being present. And since a good villain is highly competent, they are useful, the ultimate double edged sword. And maybe the heroes start rubbing off on them, by proximity, by humanity, by lack of other options, but there's always the question - is it all an act? Lots of great character work can result from this pressure cooker. Always a good time for me.

6. Amnesia

Total amnesia is fine, but it's more interesting when it's selective. The person is mostly the same, but there are missing pieces. Accidental or deliberate, the result is a great crisis of identity and free will. It can increase paranoia in the victim, or anguish in a loved one. It can cause questioning or reaffirmation. It can propel a mystery. It can unveil psychological horror, if it was deliberately caused. It is guaranteed to cause a whirlwind of angst.

7. Enemies to lovers

As I said, a villain should be a reflection. That means commonalities. A subconscious ability to relate. A worthy opponent deserving respect. But with lines crossed and bad histories, every single interaction is a battlefield which facilitates character growth and ethical debates (hell yeah). Also, part of what makes villains villains is that they WANT things, and won't stop till they get them, so seeing that hunger turn toward someone they can't acquire by normal methods tends to bend them out of shape in a delightful way - and can be exceptionally cathartic if the character they covet is generally overlooked by the rest of Team Good. There is no more powerful depiction of the transformative power of human connection.

8. Slow burn

I can't tell you how many times I'm reading a shipping fic and they arrive at the whole "shut up and kiss" moment, and I'm sitting there going "no, hang on, go back, that conversation was interesting! It wasn't finished!" The best romances take forever. Skilled writers can actually do what feels like a slow burn in a brisk twenty thousand words, so it's less about the time spent reading for me and more about giving the yearning and pining and fighting of the inevitable its proper due. Don't skip to the good stuff when what you're skipping is the good stuff!

9. Dramatic declarations of love

This can be romantic or platonic love, but moments of peril and high stakes where love is unequivocally declared, preferentially through action, are great. Lifesaving! Emptying an entire clip into the enemy who dared threaten the object of affection (yes, my favorite hostage scene of all time is Wesley on the roof with dear old dad in 'Lineage'). Rescue missions! Thousand to one odds are no object. Those are the obvious ones, but it can be tailored to different characters and their wants. Meaningful action, synergy, sacrifice, all that good stuff. I gravitate to it because... Well, a lot of my favorite characters aren't the sort who are likely to say "I love you" easily, but could channel it into action without hesitation.

10. Found family

We'll end with a gimme. I mean, who doesn't love found family? Is this even a trope? It feels ubiquitous. Great though, isn't it?

What I wrote to be productive at 3:30 in the morning (me and sleep don't get on like we used to). My phone was closer than my laptop or a scrap of paper. This needs to go in my draft for Sidelined, chapter four, but until then, I am preserving it here. Thanks to Killa, for the suggested scenario.

Also, Erin definitely took the wheel once they were on mountain roads.

****

Erin suggested driving lessons.

"I know how to drive! What you call that whole-ass road trip?"

"I call it driving in a straight line. What about all those blind curves I was navigating? Going in reverse? Maybe parallel parking?"

"Oh, because a parking place is real hard to come by?"

"It'll be fun. Really. Besides, imagine if someone like Markus couldn't parallel park."

Theo stared. "You kidding."

"Someone like Markus."

"Markus can't parallel park. Can Markus even drive? Ooh, he can't!"

"I didn't say that. Besides, it would be ridiculous."

"I ain't never seen him!"

"You can't prove a negative."

Theo's cackle carried them toward the garage. As they descended the stairs, they were greeted with the sight of Markus, in dignified conversation with a newly arrived Kurdy. Theo went off in peals of laughter, making both men look up.

"Man, I don't even wanna know," said Kurdy, but his mouth twitched. Markus watched them with a quizzical, yet pleased expression. Theo's hand was warm on her arm and Erin felt like she was truly home.

So, in my infinite wisdom, all my winterizing prep (getting firewood stockpiled, skirting the house, putting a new rug on bare floor) did not take into account the concept of drafts. The house has begun to leak like a sieve, and since the mild autumn (for which I was grateful every day) was replaced with instant heavy snowfall and below zero wind-chill on December 2nd, this has not been a fun week.

However, on the good side, the shock effect from last winter (where every day felt like three) has worn off and time is moving at a more normal pace. So the blast of cold misery will be over before I know it.

Things I've been doing, to relax during the cold mornings and evenings under blankets, include:

Discography dives. I used to do that for fun as a teen, and I've taken it up again, because everything is available online, and it's fun to have context and actually form an opinion. So far I've done Buffalo Springfield and half of Simon & Garfunkel, writing my impressions in a wordpad doc. I did check to see if there's a music community on DW, so I could post them, but nothing looks like a good fit.

Reading fic. For the past year I have read next to nothing, but I've finally found myself in the mentality to enjoy it properly, so I'm getting back into that. And the Shortcuts stories will be available soon. I don't regret sitting this year out, it was absolutely the right decision for me, but commenting on everything will give me the chance to say hi, anyway.

Writing fic. I have this forlorn ambition to actually finish both Sidelined and Counterclaims this month. I doubt it will happen, but I'm trying to treat it like a real deadline, because that busts up my usual procrastination and makes words happen.

I would also really like to finish reading Dune this month. I respect it, but I've also discovered that I don't actually enjoy worldbuilding. I love lore on TV shows because it's a spaghetti disaster with dozens of inputs that often contradict each other. It provides me a mental workout trying to make sense of nonsense.

Book lore is the work of one vision. The heavy lifting is done and there's nothing to parse. Unless the writer is incompetent, I guess (which Frank Herbert isn't). It's a superior medium for worldbuilding, but it turns out I don't actually care about any of that stuff. I don't want an encyclopedia, glossary and map - that takes all the fun out of it.

I saw this writer meme via havocthecat, and (being in likewise need of rebuilding blogging muscles) I have answered it. Very fun questions.

Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

All of them qualify in one way or another. Point at any of my fics and I will rattle off things I'm proud of with each, starting with the fact that they exist. Even a trifle such as Diminutive Disruption, which I had legit forgotten I wrote, I am super proud of. Because I did manage to write something silly, and because it made a few people smile, and because I wrote it in two days while in bed with a fever. It's an accomplishment.

However, there is only one true answer and favorite among my own works, and that is Life in Death. My non-linear, epigraph-laden darling. My case for why Libby and Sims were both more nuanced than a surface read of "betraying bitch" and "sadistic psychopath," and where I attempted to salvage them as people, with motivations and personal codes and coping mechanisms for the horrible stuff they did.

It was a deep dive into the show's least explained lore and into the mental landscape of a man attempting to disassociate from his own existence. It was about the parallels Sims has (like all great villains) with various of the good guys. I also went to bat for my most cherished interpretation of canon and declared that actually, there is zero proof that Sims is dead and a weight of evidence suggesting the opposite.

It's still my favorite of everything.

What are your top three most commonly used tags on AO3?

"Angst" leads the pack with 7/14 fics tagged as such. Second place is "Female Friendship" with 3 uses. There's a bunch vying for third, and if I remove tags that belong to multiple works in a series, it's a tie between "Canon-typical Violence," "AU - Canon Divergence," and "Women Being Awesome."

I like canon. I like what ifs within the canon. I like female characters. And I love exploring dark emotions. Somewhere in the nexus of those elements is where I find most of my plots.

( Remaining questions definitely cut for length. )

I wrote an extremely silly fic for Highlander: The Raven. And it's short, at only 2,078 words.

Diminutive Disruption
Rating: G
Gen
No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Amanda, Lucy, Cassandra, Nick (although Nick has no speaking lines, he is very vocal)

I got knocked out by some illness going around, which was absolutely awful in a whole bunch of ways. So one of the ways I forced time to pass was by writing the most ludicrous thing I could think of, which involved Nick turning into his spirit animal, and then I roped Cassandra of the inexplicable wolfishness into my rationale, and Nick the small, angry terrier was born. It made sense at the time.

I also realized it was the best opportunity for me to utilize the silly "no beta" tag that often makes me smile. I almost never have a beta, but I find that tag unusable because it contradicts the tone I'm going for. Not so much here. Then I almost skipped it anyway because all I could think of was "we die like Claudia," which wasn't a fitting joke, but then I remembered Amanda's hair and it turned into a pun so bad I had to use it. Which sums up this entire creative process.

It's a rainy day. I finished In Abeyance this morning, which owing to circumstances, is the hardest thing I have ever had to write, but now it is behind me, and I think it accomplished what I wanted it to.

It's also the longest thing I've written, at 34,754 words. Because of course.

Just to keep my motivation somewhat high, writing wise:

The last chapter of In Abeyance had eight scenes left to finish this morning. It is now down to seven.*

The next chapter of Sidelined feels overlong, so I think I will split it at a logical point I found. If so, that only has six scenes left to do.

*Edit: Down to six! Thank you, cheerleaders!