Birdwings

I didn't do a year retrospective, because the year was from hell, but I would like to make a statement on this first day of the new year. Because, if you reading this don't know, you are amazing. Everyone who commented on any of my posts or fics, who hit the kudos button or who just lurked and enjoyed reading. Everyone I talked with on Discord, IM or Google docs. Everyone who posted on my reading list. You gave me support and distraction. You kept me writing when the real world threatened to make all my efforts on DW and AO3 feel completely meaningless. You are truly the best.

So some resolutions.

1. To read more fic. I already instigated the policy that when I liked a fic, I should always comment, but this resulted in me sticking most things on my Marked for Later and reading very infrequently, because I had limited mental energy. However, it's something I really have learned to enjoy doing (compared to my early AO3 life, where I wrote timidly, with the subtext of "hope you don't think I'm weird for saying this, or for reading more than one of your fics" - yeah, introvert learning the internet over here), and I resolve to do better.

2. To interact more on DW and Discord. Make more posts of my own, and comment whenever I can. To be here.

3. To increase my media consumption. Watch more shows (and write about them). Try to aim for at least an occasional fandom heavy-hitter, not just the willfully obscure cancelled television I fancy. :)

4. To write more fic. Again, I have to thank the people who have read my stuff, who commented, kudoed, subscribed or just lurked and drove up the hit counter. Because I nearly stopped. Because writing brought me no joy. Finishing and posting did nothing for me during the vast majority of this year, and I was going through the motions. But I kept going because I was obligated by my works in progress, and then I saw that this thing I could do, which no longer mattered to me, still mattered to others. And that got me through the worst of it, to where I could feel a bit of my own energy coming back.

I am truly thankful for this place and the people in it. ♥

So, in my infinite wisdom, all my winterizing prep (getting firewood stockpiled, skirting the house, putting a new rug on bare floor) did not take into account the concept of drafts. The house has begun to leak like a sieve, and since the mild autumn (for which I was grateful every day) was replaced with instant heavy snowfall and below zero wind-chill on December 2nd, this has not been a fun week.

However, on the good side, the shock effect from last winter (where every day felt like three) has worn off and time is moving at a more normal pace. So the blast of cold misery will be over before I know it.

Things I've been doing, to relax during the cold mornings and evenings under blankets, include:

Discography dives. I used to do that for fun as a teen, and I've taken it up again, because everything is available online, and it's fun to have context and actually form an opinion. So far I've done Buffalo Springfield and half of Simon & Garfunkel, writing my impressions in a wordpad doc. I did check to see if there's a music community on DW, so I could post them, but nothing looks like a good fit.

Reading fic. For the past year I have read next to nothing, but I've finally found myself in the mentality to enjoy it properly, so I'm getting back into that. And the Shortcuts stories will be available soon. I don't regret sitting this year out, it was absolutely the right decision for me, but commenting on everything will give me the chance to say hi, anyway.

Writing fic. I have this forlorn ambition to actually finish both Sidelined and Counterclaims this month. I doubt it will happen, but I'm trying to treat it like a real deadline, because that busts up my usual procrastination and makes words happen.

I would also really like to finish reading Dune this month. I respect it, but I've also discovered that I don't actually enjoy worldbuilding. I love lore on TV shows because it's a spaghetti disaster with dozens of inputs that often contradict each other. It provides me a mental workout trying to make sense of nonsense.

Book lore is the work of one vision. The heavy lifting is done and there's nothing to parse. Unless the writer is incompetent, I guess (which Frank Herbert isn't). It's a superior medium for worldbuilding, but it turns out I don't actually care about any of that stuff. I don't want an encyclopedia, glossary and map - that takes all the fun out of it.

I saw this writer meme via havocthecat, and (being in likewise need of rebuilding blogging muscles) I have answered it. Very fun questions.

Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

All of them qualify in one way or another. Point at any of my fics and I will rattle off things I'm proud of with each, starting with the fact that they exist. Even a trifle such as Diminutive Disruption, which I had legit forgotten I wrote, I am super proud of. Because I did manage to write something silly, and because it made a few people smile, and because I wrote it in two days while in bed with a fever. It's an accomplishment.

However, there is only one true answer and favorite among my own works, and that is Life in Death. My non-linear, epigraph-laden darling. My case for why Libby and Sims were both more nuanced than a surface read of "betraying bitch" and "sadistic psychopath," and where I attempted to salvage them as people, with motivations and personal codes and coping mechanisms for the horrible stuff they did.

It was a deep dive into the show's least explained lore and into the mental landscape of a man attempting to disassociate from his own existence. It was about the parallels Sims has (like all great villains) with various of the good guys. I also went to bat for my most cherished interpretation of canon and declared that actually, there is zero proof that Sims is dead and a weight of evidence suggesting the opposite.

It's still my favorite of everything.

What are your top three most commonly used tags on AO3?

"Angst" leads the pack with 7/14 fics tagged as such. Second place is "Female Friendship" with 3 uses. There's a bunch vying for third, and if I remove tags that belong to multiple works in a series, it's a tie between "Canon-typical Violence," "AU - Canon Divergence," and "Women Being Awesome."

I like canon. I like what ifs within the canon. I like female characters. And I love exploring dark emotions. Somewhere in the nexus of those elements is where I find most of my plots.

( Remaining questions definitely cut for length. )

I wrote an extremely silly fic for Highlander: The Raven. And it's short, at only 2,078 words.

Diminutive Disruption
Rating: G
Gen
No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Amanda, Lucy, Cassandra, Nick (although Nick has no speaking lines, he is very vocal)

I got knocked out by some illness going around, which was absolutely awful in a whole bunch of ways. So one of the ways I forced time to pass was by writing the most ludicrous thing I could think of, which involved Nick turning into his spirit animal, and then I roped Cassandra of the inexplicable wolfishness into my rationale, and Nick the small, angry terrier was born. It made sense at the time.

I also realized it was the best opportunity for me to utilize the silly "no beta" tag that often makes me smile. I almost never have a beta, but I find that tag unusable because it contradicts the tone I'm going for. Not so much here. Then I almost skipped it anyway because all I could think of was "we die like Claudia," which wasn't a fitting joke, but then I remembered Amanda's hair and it turned into a pun so bad I had to use it. Which sums up this entire creative process.

It's a rainy day. I finished In Abeyance this morning, which owing to circumstances, is the hardest thing I have ever had to write, but now it is behind me, and I think it accomplished what I wanted it to.

It's also the longest thing I've written, at 34,754 words. Because of course.

Just to keep my motivation somewhat high, writing wise:

The last chapter of In Abeyance had eight scenes left to finish this morning. It is now down to seven.*

The next chapter of Sidelined feels overlong, so I think I will split it at a logical point I found. If so, that only has six scenes left to do.

*Edit: Down to six! Thank you, cheerleaders!

Trauma bonding. This refers to yet another subset of abuse dynamics, wherein trauma is used to create a bond with the abuser.

Not, as I thought, two or more traumatized people bonding over their horrific experiences.

There goes another of my tags...

Seems like half of my reading list have already done this. I was going to abstain, but the result is surprisingly varied among my eleven fics, so it seems like a nice morning activity.

Rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

Most hits: Without a Witness - Teen Wolf, 19,986 words. Lydia's relationship with Peter during season two, and her attempts to gain some form of control over her situation. The majority of people would bounce hard off this pairing, but that still nets me 326 hits.

Second most kudos: A Crime Spree Waiting to Happen - Highlander, 4,226 words. Matthew attempting to keep Cory and Amanda from meeting, and then attempting to track them down during 'Money No Object.' My first fic exchange, 28 kudos.

Third most comments: Guests for the Weekend - Highlander, 7,622 words. Amanda, Anne and Richie foil a burglary by burgling. A total of 9 comment threads.

Fourth most bookmarks: No More Reason to Stay - Highlander, 11,495 words. Brian Cullen visits Darius a few years before their ends, and has flashbacks to his tormented relationship with MacLeod and his steady deterioration. Somehow acquired 3 bookmarks.

Fifth most words: Other Angels - Jeremiah, 11,765 words. Elizabeth fix fic. Was supposed to be about half the length and a single chapter, but my brain wouldn't cooperate.

Fewest words: A Lasting Impression - Highlander, 3,165 words. A Methos character study set during his introductory episode. Every word was a battle, hence so few of them.

Shortcuts has concluded and it was an amazing feast. The perfect end to one year and start to another. I even managed to comment on all but four stories before reveals, despite a rocky real world week.

I wrote Guests for the Weekend for Coralysendria. I was apparently not hard to guess, which is fair. Like last year, it ended up being a somewhat comic adventure heavily featuring Amanda, and this time it became my first Highlander story to go beyond the timeline of the show.

( Creative process stuff. )

Yes, that's tomorrow, but I'll be working and it's a holiday, and today I'm just working, so today's the post.

Lessee....

For HLH Shortcuts, I've got an idea structured out, I know what I want it to do and more or less how to get there. I know what I need to fact check to make it happen and have open tabs on my computer glaring at me. Bits of it are coming together. I hope.

If I can get this done in a decent timeframe, I may even have time to finish one other fic before the year is over. I can dream, anyway.

I have 200 words of Hard Core Logo/Highlander fusion, plus a tornado of outline for the remainder.

I have 13,001 words of part two of my Teen Wolf series, not counting the extensive notes, or anything pertaining to later installments (and I have only twelve episodes left to watch and the show will be done at last *waves checkered flag*).

My other projects have been backburnered, to maintain my sanity.