![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annavereSidelined has clocked in at 52,981 words. It is the longest individual story I have written, and the most ambitious completed work I have to my name, and I am super proud of how it turned out. So this gets a long "making of" post, and a new Erin icon. I have earned it.
The basic concept came from a challenge I set myself to write launchpad scenes for five different Jeremiah canon divergences. I knew the concept at once: Erin and Theo getting stranded in the wilderness and learning to rely on each other without Markus gumming the works. I had previously toyed with a road trip idea, but didn't find it appealing post-series, because there wasn't an identifiable conflict point. Theo would want to get home to her kid, and Erin would completely support her in doing so - which meant nothing to argue over, and therefore nothing to drive the plot. Counterintuitively, I also ship Theo/Erin much harder in season one, before they ever share a scene together, than I do post 'Rites of Passage,' and both of them being outside in the chaos of 'Things Left Unsaid' gave me the perfect opportunity to throw them together.
The framework took shape around three key events. They would witness Vincent gatecrash St. Louis, forcing them to leave behind shelter and risk the road. They would spring one of Daniel's labor camps. One of them (didn't matter which) would get captured by an enforcer, leading to Feelings and Rescuing, and they would steal a car, the story ending at the gates of Thunder Mountain. Short and simple!
Here's how that went completely awry.
Early on I struggled with deciding on viewpoint characters. Theo and Erin both had material I wanted to depict from their own perspective. Finally I went with a steady rhythm of alternating between the two leads, as the least confusing option for the prospective reader. This meant I ended up digging way deeper into Erin and Theo's psychology and developing feelings than I planned, because my story map mostly accounted for "incidents." So if Theo had two action scenes in a row, with time between, I had to switch over to Erin, despite her having nothing important to do. So I would figure out what Erin was thinking while she waited for Theo to return. This ended up being a lot of fun, as I tried to slowly build their attachment while using their massive differences in personality to make both of them (hopefully without much contrived miscommunication) doubt the other cares half so much.
This also had the unintended side effect of, when I needed to add an extra scene, having to add two in order to get the viewpoint order back on track.
I quickly realized there was no point fussing over the word count.
There was, however, much consulting of Google Maps, giving me an idea of what the area they traversed would be like. Looking up walking distances between random towns in Missouri, finding odd bits of terrain to liven up the landscape descriptions, tracing a semi-plausible path (and then slightly renaming all the towns, because I'm not trying to claim local expertise). Retrofitting food and resources for the trip, so they wouldn't expire on route. Tripping over kindly characters, because if any of them were too well-situated, then Erin and Theo would look dumb for continuing their death trip into the wilderness. Coming up with enough action to make this something other than the Ultimate Walk-and-Talk Fic.
I decided right away that Valhalla Sector needed to be involved beyond the inciting incident. Choppers! Army trucks! More exciting if they're dodging multiple problems! Theo and Erin could be on the ground witnesses to the changing of the villain guard, which is a bit of the worldbuilding that I've always found interesting. The dead soldiers scene came from this.
Stray thought at the time: "Oh man, they could get captured by Sims! No, never mind. Theo and Sims would kill each other in about twenty seconds. Erin could get captured by Sims! Even better! They could have an intense conversation and Erin could spare his life during Theo's glorious rescue sequence! And... yeah, Erin's whole life would be ruined by Libby's death, so scrap that idea. Diet Enforcer it'll have to be."
I then wrote in a bunch of hints of Sims being in the area (the VS soldiers being lined up in a neat row; the coyotes on the night VS literally seals its fate) as an attempted pressure release valve for my bad idea. Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic, as it were.
This did not work (it did make some fun foreshadowing, though). The whole point of the story was for Erin and Theo to take on the role of traveling heroes, and you can't be a hero if you aren't prepared to meet the villain, you know? It would be far more impressive for them to be separated, knocked down to nothing, running on pure inner strength to best Sims and steal his car rather than to best some no-name dullard who wouldn't be able to say anything interesting or be properly menacing. Sims would have a logical reason to be assigned to the area, and would provide a natural dramatic crescendo. Instant cliffhanger!
This also guaranteed I would need an epilogue to resolve the aftermath. Just a short final chapter.
I no sooner sketched this idea into my growing outline than I was struck by my own stupidity. Erin and Theo were out in the woods this whole time, so there was no reason for one of them to get caught at all. They could just melt into the trees, without getting separated or trapped the way they might if fleeing through city streets.
I needed something to back up my own self-indulgence. And so, embarrassingly late in the day, I had the eureka moment. "Wait, I already wrote that a soldier hit Erin in the head and she blacked out for hours! She's got a concussion!" (In my defense, this show merrily ignored all serious injuries to its leads, so I Had Precedent). I ran to the internet, researched concussion symptoms, and they worked. Not only could Erin nobly force Theo to leave her behind, there could be all kinds of hurt/comfort before that! With a dollop of amnesia! Extensive additions and alterations were then made.
I did seriously fret that Theo leaving Erin behind was out of character, but since the only other option was the pair dying in a violent shootout against impossibly high odds, like Butch and Sundance, I leaned on her pragmatic interest in self-preservation (and leaned hard on foreshadowing by having Theo constantly dwell on "doing what it takes to survive" and telling herself not to get attached to Erin) to try and sell it. Angst!
Another concern was that Erin's concussion made her narrative dead weight, with Theo doing all the heavy lifting I had originally planned to make 50/50. I didn't want the relationship feeling unbalanced, so I let Erin be all dramatic and kill a man during the prison break to save Theo. Concussed or not, she's still got dead aim! Was this improbable? Shh.
At this point, the story was so self-indulgent that I went nuts and just started adding in everything I loved about the show. Sydney's backstory was my tribute to season one's "snapshots of humanity" aspect. I used each evening on the road to give a "campfire heart-to-heart," nudging Theo and Erin closer to each other. I ended up leaning hard on how much this story ended up being a mirror image to Jeremiah and Kurdy, out on the road, trying to do the right thing and help people. I added in some gratuitous Homeward Bound references, because that film was all over the video rental stores and every animal-loving girl in the 90s saw it (plus, thematically on pointish).
David was watching a video about the Missouri Breaks during this construction, so I had Theo make a quip about it, which I combined with her tiny amount of established pre-Death lore and rolled into her parents being keen on visiting great American West landmarks, setting up the final scene of the epilogue, as I decided their next destination had been Itasca State Park and the headwaters of the Mississippi (which I have been to, and for ten years lived about 20 minutes away from). So the ending of this story has a lot of personal layers for me.
So the outline came together really well, and then was backburnered for other projects, and then for life awfulness, until I eventually finished chapter one and realized I was locked in to finish it, come what may. That was a year ago. I discovered that outlines are brilliant for keeping structural/thematic details fresh in mind, but they are no good for supplying the brass tacks of how a scene actually plays out. I wrote myself out of so many happily handwaved, "I'll deal with it later" corners in that outline. Here is the actual original description for what became over 2,700 words: "That evening they discover a labor camp, which is run by Daniel's group, and decide to do what they can, because these guys killed enemy soldiers who had surrendered, and they can't turn aside and leave. It's Erin's idea, wishing to combat her increasing sense of helplessness, so they work together to spring the camp. Erin and Theo love the way that feels. People don't break into camps, generally, and it's an easy spring."
HOW IS IT AN EASY SPRING? WHERE ARE THE PRISONERS BEING KEPT? HOW MANY GUARDS? YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH, WOMAN.
Once I threshed out the various action scenes I had saddled myself with, the most anxiety this fic caused me was in finally having to post the Erin and Sims confrontation. There is no canon to support my fascination with their potential dynamic, so I really had to sell that all on my own, and I fretted over every detail. While it was fun to indulge my pet project of attempting to redeem Sims, and writing my absolute het OTP in a technically non-shippy context did provide a safety net in case it was met with polite silence, it was a huge load off my mind when I received positive feedback for the storyline.
Once I had the logistics of Theo's dramatic rescue figured out, the car theft itself was a breeze. Theo and Erin got their big Feelings scene and all I needed was a brisk, tidy epilogue in which they hooked up, the leftover Sims plot was swiftly resolved, and Erin took Theo to the headwaters for the perfect romantic finish. Short and simple!
I should just strike those words from my Jeremiah vocabulary. :P
A few years ago, I had written a snippet about Lauren meeting Theo, intended for a post-canon Erin/Theo fic which never materialized because there was no dramatic hook, just happy vibes. It fit perfectly into this epilogue, and bulked it up a little. Great!
It occurred to me that Theo could give Devon a talking to, by being present at the dinner scene (cathartic!). Further, they could meet Rachel, and learn from her how Sydney was doing (continuity!). In between these cameos, the actual season events had to be woven (drama!). I also took a suggestion fromkillabeez about Theo needing some driving lessons, and added that (humor!). I decided Jeremiah and Libby getting shot needed to be spaced out for dramatic oomph, so Christmas in the Mountain needed to feature (hope!). Then Libby demanded an appearance, and because I love her doubletalk, I couldn't resist (intrigue!). Then I realized Jeremiah would not realistically be okay with Erin afterward, and Theo would need to have a word with him, and then, and then...
And then the final chapter was a behemoth that I could have saved for a sequel, and I hadn't even written the second encounter with Sims (which is lucky, because I would have left out a lot of the cameos if I'd had any sense of how long a scroll this would get to be!). Sims being a talkative bastard, by the time I finished, I had 16k words of my brisk, tidy epilogue. After sending it to my beta, I was requested to fill out the early arrival in Thunder Mountain portion I had, in sheer desperation of ever finishing this project, skipped over, and ended up with a pair of very necessary scenes to tie a lot of the themes together... and 17k!
So my process went.
Now, picture no limits on viewpoint character, picture every single character getting their own subplots, and you'll have some idea why my massive canon sequel fic is both massive and unfinished. HOWEVER, having finished Sidelined and being halfway through my Ghost Impulses series (clocking in at 86K right now), I feel I have gained the right to declare that its time will come.
In the meantime, I am super proud to have maintained focus and finished this epic fic.
The basic concept came from a challenge I set myself to write launchpad scenes for five different Jeremiah canon divergences. I knew the concept at once: Erin and Theo getting stranded in the wilderness and learning to rely on each other without Markus gumming the works. I had previously toyed with a road trip idea, but didn't find it appealing post-series, because there wasn't an identifiable conflict point. Theo would want to get home to her kid, and Erin would completely support her in doing so - which meant nothing to argue over, and therefore nothing to drive the plot. Counterintuitively, I also ship Theo/Erin much harder in season one, before they ever share a scene together, than I do post 'Rites of Passage,' and both of them being outside in the chaos of 'Things Left Unsaid' gave me the perfect opportunity to throw them together.
The framework took shape around three key events. They would witness Vincent gatecrash St. Louis, forcing them to leave behind shelter and risk the road. They would spring one of Daniel's labor camps. One of them (didn't matter which) would get captured by an enforcer, leading to Feelings and Rescuing, and they would steal a car, the story ending at the gates of Thunder Mountain. Short and simple!
Here's how that went completely awry.
Early on I struggled with deciding on viewpoint characters. Theo and Erin both had material I wanted to depict from their own perspective. Finally I went with a steady rhythm of alternating between the two leads, as the least confusing option for the prospective reader. This meant I ended up digging way deeper into Erin and Theo's psychology and developing feelings than I planned, because my story map mostly accounted for "incidents." So if Theo had two action scenes in a row, with time between, I had to switch over to Erin, despite her having nothing important to do. So I would figure out what Erin was thinking while she waited for Theo to return. This ended up being a lot of fun, as I tried to slowly build their attachment while using their massive differences in personality to make both of them (hopefully without much contrived miscommunication) doubt the other cares half so much.
This also had the unintended side effect of, when I needed to add an extra scene, having to add two in order to get the viewpoint order back on track.
I quickly realized there was no point fussing over the word count.
There was, however, much consulting of Google Maps, giving me an idea of what the area they traversed would be like. Looking up walking distances between random towns in Missouri, finding odd bits of terrain to liven up the landscape descriptions, tracing a semi-plausible path (and then slightly renaming all the towns, because I'm not trying to claim local expertise). Retrofitting food and resources for the trip, so they wouldn't expire on route. Tripping over kindly characters, because if any of them were too well-situated, then Erin and Theo would look dumb for continuing their death trip into the wilderness. Coming up with enough action to make this something other than the Ultimate Walk-and-Talk Fic.
I decided right away that Valhalla Sector needed to be involved beyond the inciting incident. Choppers! Army trucks! More exciting if they're dodging multiple problems! Theo and Erin could be on the ground witnesses to the changing of the villain guard, which is a bit of the worldbuilding that I've always found interesting. The dead soldiers scene came from this.
Stray thought at the time: "Oh man, they could get captured by Sims! No, never mind. Theo and Sims would kill each other in about twenty seconds. Erin could get captured by Sims! Even better! They could have an intense conversation and Erin could spare his life during Theo's glorious rescue sequence! And... yeah, Erin's whole life would be ruined by Libby's death, so scrap that idea. Diet Enforcer it'll have to be."
I then wrote in a bunch of hints of Sims being in the area (the VS soldiers being lined up in a neat row; the coyotes on the night VS literally seals its fate) as an attempted pressure release valve for my bad idea. Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic, as it were.
This did not work (it did make some fun foreshadowing, though). The whole point of the story was for Erin and Theo to take on the role of traveling heroes, and you can't be a hero if you aren't prepared to meet the villain, you know? It would be far more impressive for them to be separated, knocked down to nothing, running on pure inner strength to best Sims and steal his car rather than to best some no-name dullard who wouldn't be able to say anything interesting or be properly menacing. Sims would have a logical reason to be assigned to the area, and would provide a natural dramatic crescendo. Instant cliffhanger!
This also guaranteed I would need an epilogue to resolve the aftermath. Just a short final chapter.
I no sooner sketched this idea into my growing outline than I was struck by my own stupidity. Erin and Theo were out in the woods this whole time, so there was no reason for one of them to get caught at all. They could just melt into the trees, without getting separated or trapped the way they might if fleeing through city streets.
I needed something to back up my own self-indulgence. And so, embarrassingly late in the day, I had the eureka moment. "Wait, I already wrote that a soldier hit Erin in the head and she blacked out for hours! She's got a concussion!" (In my defense, this show merrily ignored all serious injuries to its leads, so I Had Precedent). I ran to the internet, researched concussion symptoms, and they worked. Not only could Erin nobly force Theo to leave her behind, there could be all kinds of hurt/comfort before that! With a dollop of amnesia! Extensive additions and alterations were then made.
I did seriously fret that Theo leaving Erin behind was out of character, but since the only other option was the pair dying in a violent shootout against impossibly high odds, like Butch and Sundance, I leaned on her pragmatic interest in self-preservation (and leaned hard on foreshadowing by having Theo constantly dwell on "doing what it takes to survive" and telling herself not to get attached to Erin) to try and sell it. Angst!
Another concern was that Erin's concussion made her narrative dead weight, with Theo doing all the heavy lifting I had originally planned to make 50/50. I didn't want the relationship feeling unbalanced, so I let Erin be all dramatic and kill a man during the prison break to save Theo. Concussed or not, she's still got dead aim! Was this improbable? Shh.
At this point, the story was so self-indulgent that I went nuts and just started adding in everything I loved about the show. Sydney's backstory was my tribute to season one's "snapshots of humanity" aspect. I used each evening on the road to give a "campfire heart-to-heart," nudging Theo and Erin closer to each other. I ended up leaning hard on how much this story ended up being a mirror image to Jeremiah and Kurdy, out on the road, trying to do the right thing and help people. I added in some gratuitous Homeward Bound references, because that film was all over the video rental stores and every animal-loving girl in the 90s saw it (plus, thematically on pointish).
David was watching a video about the Missouri Breaks during this construction, so I had Theo make a quip about it, which I combined with her tiny amount of established pre-Death lore and rolled into her parents being keen on visiting great American West landmarks, setting up the final scene of the epilogue, as I decided their next destination had been Itasca State Park and the headwaters of the Mississippi (which I have been to, and for ten years lived about 20 minutes away from). So the ending of this story has a lot of personal layers for me.
So the outline came together really well, and then was backburnered for other projects, and then for life awfulness, until I eventually finished chapter one and realized I was locked in to finish it, come what may. That was a year ago. I discovered that outlines are brilliant for keeping structural/thematic details fresh in mind, but they are no good for supplying the brass tacks of how a scene actually plays out. I wrote myself out of so many happily handwaved, "I'll deal with it later" corners in that outline. Here is the actual original description for what became over 2,700 words: "That evening they discover a labor camp, which is run by Daniel's group, and decide to do what they can, because these guys killed enemy soldiers who had surrendered, and they can't turn aside and leave. It's Erin's idea, wishing to combat her increasing sense of helplessness, so they work together to spring the camp. Erin and Theo love the way that feels. People don't break into camps, generally, and it's an easy spring."
HOW IS IT AN EASY SPRING? WHERE ARE THE PRISONERS BEING KEPT? HOW MANY GUARDS? YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH, WOMAN.
Once I threshed out the various action scenes I had saddled myself with, the most anxiety this fic caused me was in finally having to post the Erin and Sims confrontation. There is no canon to support my fascination with their potential dynamic, so I really had to sell that all on my own, and I fretted over every detail. While it was fun to indulge my pet project of attempting to redeem Sims, and writing my absolute het OTP in a technically non-shippy context did provide a safety net in case it was met with polite silence, it was a huge load off my mind when I received positive feedback for the storyline.
Once I had the logistics of Theo's dramatic rescue figured out, the car theft itself was a breeze. Theo and Erin got their big Feelings scene and all I needed was a brisk, tidy epilogue in which they hooked up, the leftover Sims plot was swiftly resolved, and Erin took Theo to the headwaters for the perfect romantic finish. Short and simple!
I should just strike those words from my Jeremiah vocabulary. :P
A few years ago, I had written a snippet about Lauren meeting Theo, intended for a post-canon Erin/Theo fic which never materialized because there was no dramatic hook, just happy vibes. It fit perfectly into this epilogue, and bulked it up a little. Great!
It occurred to me that Theo could give Devon a talking to, by being present at the dinner scene (cathartic!). Further, they could meet Rachel, and learn from her how Sydney was doing (continuity!). In between these cameos, the actual season events had to be woven (drama!). I also took a suggestion from
killabeez about Theo needing some driving lessons, and added that (humor!). I decided Jeremiah and Libby getting shot needed to be spaced out for dramatic oomph, so Christmas in the Mountain needed to feature (hope!). Then Libby demanded an appearance, and because I love her doubletalk, I couldn't resist (intrigue!). Then I realized Jeremiah would not realistically be okay with Erin afterward, and Theo would need to have a word with him, and then, and then...And then the final chapter was a behemoth that I could have saved for a sequel, and I hadn't even written the second encounter with Sims (which is lucky, because I would have left out a lot of the cameos if I'd had any sense of how long a scroll this would get to be!). Sims being a talkative bastard, by the time I finished, I had 16k words of my brisk, tidy epilogue. After sending it to my beta, I was requested to fill out the early arrival in Thunder Mountain portion I had, in sheer desperation of ever finishing this project, skipped over, and ended up with a pair of very necessary scenes to tie a lot of the themes together... and 17k!
So my process went.
Now, picture no limits on viewpoint character, picture every single character getting their own subplots, and you'll have some idea why my massive canon sequel fic is both massive and unfinished. HOWEVER, having finished Sidelined and being halfway through my Ghost Impulses series (clocking in at 86K right now), I feel I have gained the right to declare that its time will come.
In the meantime, I am super proud to have maintained focus and finished this epic fic.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-08 05:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-04-08 07:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-04-09 03:51 am (UTC)