Reasons to Post Fic

[annavere]

Found a closed Tumblr poll listing Reasons to Post Fic, most of which were not very applicable to me thus far, but a few were accurate.

"Here to make number go up in my blorbo's tag."

So much this. Aside from A Lasting Impression, all of my posted fic feature secondary or minor characters, and I get a charge out of clicking on those character tags and seeing my fic there, doing God's work. Shipping tags are the same way for me. Highly motivating.

"If I put it on Ao3 Maybe I'll Stop Editing it and can Finally Rest"

Tied for first place. Adding to the archive is the gleeful part of the equation. Finally escaping the editing process and being free of the text tormenting me every stray second is the exhausted, bedraggled, "Spike draped over a cross asking to rest" part of the process.

"I thought about blorbo and took 5d8 psychic damage, which is now YOUR problem"

Yep. Pretty much. Sorry about that.

"No one else is writing this trope? THIS TRAVESTY MUST BE RECTIFIED."

Sans the all caps, this is an accidental, but frequent, occurrence. I come up with an idea, think to myself "this is neat, I'm sure it's been done before," and then go looking for the fic I want to read. All too often, I come up empty, and then what choice do I really have?

"This is the best fucking thing I have ever written, you can read it if you want"

This is definitely part of the process, though it tends to manifest very early in writing and dissipates around the 3/4 mark (right when I need the motivation most) and then departs completely when I reach the final edit, leaving only shame and recrimination.

Missing from the list is anything to do with soul-hunger, which is mostly where the writing and posting impulses come from for me. Writing anything takes time, it's difficult and slow and I'm not sure there's a rational clicky-box that sums up why a person would do something like this for fun and relaxation. At least, that is my experience of the task.

Also missing is the spirit of generosity, wherein I sincerely hope that even if my stories are not perfect, they do others some good by existing.

Comments

[kathleen_dailey]

Missing from the list is anything to do with soul-hunger, which is mostly where the writing and posting impulses come from for me. Writing anything takes time, it's difficult and slow and I'm not sure there's a rational clicky-box that sums up why a person would do something like this for fun and relaxation. At least, that is my experience of the task.

A thousand "amens" to this. So many people say, "Fic is just my hobby, I do it for fun." To my mind, those words do not compute on any level. Although I was always relieved to finish and publish a story, nothing about the writing process was ever fun or relaxing. Your phrase "soul-hunger" expresses perfectly the compulsion to tell a character's true story faithfully and gracefully. There's no peace until that hunger is satisfied.

On the front page of my old website, which was where I posted my stories online before AO3 existed, I quoted Douglas Adams: "I don't really have any advice, other than to say [writing is] the most appallingly difficult thing I've ever tried to do and I wish I had a better idea of how to do it." For me, that's still true after all these years.

[annavere]

That Douglas Adams quote is amazing. I think this is a large part of where burnout comes from - there's an unfairness to the craft, because writing does not actually get easier with time and practice. It gets better, more proficiently crafted, but it doesn't become effortless. When I walked every day, I was able to take longer walks as my stamina increased and I didn't even have to think about it. But I write nearly every day, it's still a struggle years into it and that I think is deeply demoralizing.

I find Tumblr in particular traffics in jokey, self-deprecating takes on writing (especially fanfiction), and I think it's selling the motivations and energy it takes really short. I like thoughtful posts on a subject near and dear to me. There's a lot of personal motive, investment and catharsis wrapped up in the task, and people saying stuff like "it's just playing with dolls" are taking a very surface look at it. I wonder if sometimes that's a defense mechanism? I know I often feel self-doubt about how interesting it is for other people when I write about writing (as opposed to just posting the finished product), so I am glad you found something resonant in my post. Thank you for stopping by!

[kathleen_dailey]

There's a lot of personal motive, investment and catharsis wrapped up in the task, and people saying stuff like "it's just playing with dolls" are taking a very surface look at it.

Agreed. No doubt for some writers it's all about the fun and fluffiness and OOCness of playing with dolls, but there are some others who take the craft seriously and who pay careful attention to the readability of their writing--characterization, plot, pacing, theme, dialogue, etc. Fortunately, one can usually tell quite early on in a fic which type of story it is, and whether it's worth reading past the first couple of sentences.

In my principal fandom, the dreck-to-diamonds ratio is exospherically high; when I find (the rare) adept and thoughtful authors who actually know how to devise and tell a well-crafted story with recognizable characters, I always try to acknowledge their skill and (in Claire Gabriel's words) their gift of self.

But I write nearly every day, it's still a struggle years into it and that I think is deeply demoralizing.

Agreed again. In my experience, the soul-hunger that you referred to is the only thing drives us to persist through and past that demoralizing struggle. I think many serious writers would probably say that when one is no longer struggling, one is no longer creating stories worth the telling.

[annavere]

I think many serious writers would probably say that when one is no longer struggling, one is no longer creating stories worth the telling.

That is a very helpful way to think about it. ♥

[killabeez]

The second one is absolutely my main motivator. The others all resonate, but it's honestly mostly that one. (Same goes for vids, only more so.)

[annavere]

Desperation is a key ingredient in the process. Guilt and deadlines may also be up there. ❤️