Birdwings

Jeremiah fic (what, already?)

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 17:23:17 GMT

And immediately upon finishing the longest work I have yet posted, I have now finished the shortest. Allez, a 1,361 word Jeremiah story which is the first actual thing I wrote after becoming a widow. The other stuff was just finishing near-completed drafts from before.

I had idly contemplated the idea of writing a batch of oneshots, or maybe a Five Times experiment, in which Erin taught other characters how to fence. Note: This is a tricky aspect to writing in a dormant fandom. I don't know how to fence. I really have no business writing anything on the subject. However, if I want to read it, I'm kind of stuck trying my best not to faceplant while I write it.

Anyway, my unease with the project meant I never really did much except take some notes for a few possibilities. Then, I was suddenly faced with having a long list of WIPs which were heavy on angst and action and romance and high effort, when I no longer felt up to writing at all. So I wrote the first fencing lesson, between Erin and Markus, to make some time go by and soothe my nerves. Because it had no heavy drama, and it was just a quiet discussion about philosophy, this was very manageable.

I then wrote a second one, featuring Elizabeth, but that one I wasn't as happy with and need to retool a bit.

I then enlisted havocthecat to lend her fencing expertise, so I didn't completely embarrass myself.

I don't actually remember why the hell I didn't post the first of the two last year.

Then I got caught up in trying to finish my two long WIPs, which took much longer than anticipated. Then I finally dug out Allez, made some alterations to the character stuff, and discovered I couldn't blockquote for love or money. dswdiane suggested I ask killabeez for assistance, and she very patiently walked my ~~idiot self~~ confused personage through the motions of advanced html and site skins.

So this is the shortest fic I have ever written, and somehow it ended up being the fic I got the most help on. And I guess the moral is, fandom has been teaching me it's okay to ask for help.

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Staying on target

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 03:13:08 GMT

I signed up for Write Every Day earlier this week, which I'm enjoying as a challenge and focus point. The purpose of it for me was to circumvent what normally happens right after I post something - which is instantly disappearing into the ether for two weeks before I summon the energy to try writing again.

It worked, today at least. I dug out a functionally finished short fic I unfortunately wrote around this time last year while I was still reeling and in deep shock. So I let it lapse without doing the final read-through, because I just wasn't up to it, at all. I feel bad about this, because the fic was beta read, and then I never posted it.

So this evening, I sat down with the fic, altered a few sentences to be more smooth or substantial, added a few others to make the story clearer, and think it's where I want it to be. So that's getting posted in the next day or two.

This challenge is getting good results. Thank you to dswdiane for pointing it out.

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Epic Jeremiah femslash fic completion post!

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 22:42:18 GMT

Sidelined has clocked in at 52,981 words. It is the longest individual story I have written, and the most ambitious completed work I have to my name, and I am super proud of how it turned out. So this gets a long "making of" post, and a new Erin icon. I have earned it.

The basic concept came from a challenge I set myself to write launchpad scenes for five different Jeremiah canon divergences. I knew the concept at once: Erin and Theo getting stranded in the wilderness and learning to rely on each other without Markus gumming the works. I had previously toyed with a road trip idea, but didn't find it appealing post-series, because there wasn't an identifiable conflict point. Theo would want to get home to her kid, and Erin would completely support her in doing so - which meant nothing to argue over, and therefore nothing to drive the plot. Counterintuitively, I also ship Theo/Erin much harder in season one, before they ever share a scene together, than I do post 'Rites of Passage,' and both of them being outside in the chaos of 'Things Left Unsaid' gave me the perfect opportunity to throw them together.

The framework took shape around three key events. They would witness Vincent gatecrash St. Louis, forcing them to leave behind shelter and risk the road. They would spring one of Daniel's labor camps. One of them (didn't matter which) would get captured by an enforcer, leading to Feelings and Rescuing, and they would steal a car, the story ending at the gates of Thunder Mountain. Short and simple!

Here's how that went completely awry. ( Long, long making of. )

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Friday Five: Music and Earworms

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 00:56:10 GMT

Seen via teratornis and it seemed like a fun post to make. ( Read more... )

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Finished season one of Forever Knight

Sat, 28 Mar 2026 15:54:50 GMT

I finally binged the last six episodes, and it was an excellent season of tv, taken as a whole. It didn't have the most ambitious narrative, as it stuck quite firmly to a case of the week format, but the character work was excellent and it had buckets of that 90s atmosphere I love. It even had a great "tune in next season" hook, which I did not expect, and which means I had better start shopping for a DVD set (because alas, the YT upload only covers season one).

Something I noticed early on was that Nick was mostly depicted in flashbacks seeking a cure or trying to help people. I concluded the writers or the network were uncomfortable with a former monster seeking redemption, and that Nick would not be portrayed doing evil after that first chick he chowed down on. However, I think they mostly just eased the viewer into it, letting you get a strong sense of why Nick might deserve salvation before trotting out Murder and Falling Off the Wagon and Stalkery Obsession and More Murder. Nick is not being dramatic when he rejects his vampiric superpowers as something born of evil. Or so I see it, anyway.

So that's fun. As is the general tone of the show, which is very human and warm. Some episodes leaned on the serious difficulties of being a cop, and others went for the supernatural craziness of vampire enforcers and ageless women hopped up on vampire blood, so there was a lot of variety in terms of the case of the week. I found it quite enjoyable, over all.

There were a couple episodes that didn't sit well with me, besides the evil stripper one (which was at least unintentionally funny), but with 22 episodes, that is affordable and rewatch value tends to improve such outings anyway because of small character elements I probably missed out on. The one I found most uncomfortable was the "murder at AA" episode. It struck me to be in questionable taste and wildly inaccurate to everything I have ever heard about how they operate.

Some unexpected guest stars also livened things throughout, and by the end of the season, I really felt the importance of Nick's choice of work. Unlike Angel, who chose to work as a PI, and could therefore cut himself off from humanity at the drop of a hat (and did so multiple times across the show, which is the first thing Doyle took him to task for), Nick is constantly surrounded by people who might or might not know his secret, but who are rooting for him to pull through. He's in the trenches, he has a boss, he can't fire his team. He's a lot closer to people every day. Whether or not that helps remains to be seen, but it is quite touching.

I'm also more invested in Nick and Natalie's relationship, which has a lot of underlying tensions that weren't clear to me at the beginning of the season. I do wish the brother thing had been acknowledged afterward, but otherwise it was quite compelling in a kind of sad way.

Janette occasionally mentions that vampires don't get to kill people anymore, because of the pesky bodies attracting attention, and I am hoping that gets elaborated on, along with Janette's own place on the show's moral axis, because I am super curious.

Also, flashback dates would be really nice.

Anyway, a strong season. Looking forward to what comes next!

Edit: Is it LaCroix or Lacroix? I have seen both spellings used.

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Heavy sigh

Sun, 22 Mar 2026 11:18:17 GMT

Having lost Nicholas Brendon, Michelle Trachtenberg and Malcolm-Jamal Warner in little over a year, my personal tv landscape has become a very sad place.

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Buffy vs. Teen Wolf

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 18:41:04 GMT

I found this fun graphic on Tumblr of obvious parallels between Buffy and Teen Wolf characters, indicating that the latter took a lot of influence from the former (or else that teen drama archetypes are indeed fairly archetypal). Anyway, for fun, I decided to pick my winner for each category, although some characters are included twice and Angel complicates things a little.

Buffy vs. Scott (average teen turned hero). I really want to do the dark horse pick, because people are forever dunking on Scott, and I don't think he did anything wrong. But Buffy is one of the greatest protagonists ever, and her journey (even if I were to limit it to the high school years) is filled with incredible layers. Also, the writers did a fairly good job of not forgetting her various traumas when convenient. I can't say the same for poor Scott. BtVS: 1; TW: 0

( The rest cut for length )

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Teen Wolf: The Movie

Sat, 07 Mar 2026 01:03:06 GMT

So last week I discovered this film was uploaded on YT and dropped everything to watch it. This was a wise choice, as the next day it was copyright struck. I'd heard a lot of bad things about it, and some of them were justified, but I found it generally amusing and entertaining, and feel like a lot of the criticisms were based on anger at what was missing rather than what was there.

Admittedly, the actual plot they went with was lame as hell, but come on, this is Teen Wolf. If you don't have a sense of humor about this show, it is gonna give you a hard time.

Long list of bullet points with spoilers! ( Read more... )

To sum up: Too many characters, but some sweet character bits throughout. Really bad plot, but bad in a fun way that gave me a few laughs. Several scenes are quite legitimately good. I don't find it fully canon, because of how much material it papers over or retcons, but it's not as worthless as its reputation in the fandom would suggest, and I'm very happy I watched it. Ignore the haters and have fun, I say. Good advice in general, probably.

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State of mind

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 00:43:43 GMT

I do all these cheerful posts to keep my spirits up, and retain an outlet for conversation (which helps so much, believe me), but sometimes...

If year one was Denial and Bargaining, then year two is definitely shaping up to be Depression and Anger. I preferred the first two and would like to go back to those. Those were good.

Goes without saying, but I don't feel like saying anything else right now: Being a widow is absolutely awful.

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About the brain fry...

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 01:56:40 GMT

I finished Sidelined. Kind of. Still need to send it to my beta. ♥

But since yesterday was a day off, I sat down and did almost nothing other than hammer out words toward the finish line. Now it's all put together, the last chapter, the glorified epilogue that was just supposed to tie up a couple loose threads...

And it's 16,200+ words. I think it's the longest chapter of the bunch.

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Doctor Who: The Daleks

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 01:41:24 GMT

(Still catching up on my posting backlog. My brain is so completely fried right now I'm grateful I had a near-complete review ready to go here.)

If nothing else, watching the big name episodes, the ones which put the classic in Classic Who, is going to be a lot of fun! ( Read more... )

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Huh

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 04:25:51 GMT

Michael Siberry, who played Martin "There's nothing like the kill of a seasoned Immortal" Hyde on Highlander, also played easily lovelorn upper class twit Bingo Little on Jeeves and Wooster.

I don't think a "he's in disguise" crossover would work in this case.

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Finished TW fic, part three of six

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 03:50:07 GMT

I finished Counterclaims a couple of nights ago. Took a day off to recuperate. I am so glad to have that behind me and to be literally halfway through the series, with the grimmest part over.

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FK update

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 13:29:46 GMT

There's a careful balance this show needs to maintain between the vampire/immortal aspect (as Nick works to reclaim his humanity and redeem himself) and the police procedural aspect (in which Nick sometimes saves the night by flying across Toronto's traffic, but is otherwise just a cop). It's impressive how well the writing manages. But I like it best when the writers throw police procedural caution to the wind and really lean into the premise.

'Dying for Fame' was a bonkers episode in which Nick gets carried away into delusions of MTV horror while over-identifying with a shambling, alcoholic wreck trapped by her own fame. Unlike Angel's later 'Eternity,' which adopted a deeply cynical tone, this is played for idealism. Nick can't free himself yet, but he can break the machine trapping Rebecca and release her into the wilds.

It's also a great snapshot of the era's musical moment, as this episode is absolutely wedded to hair metal controversy, and Schanke is mocked as over the hill for his fondness for BTO - and I'm laughing at the lot, because Nirvana is now a major thing and is killing the careers of almost every hair metal act standing. Rebecca got out just in time.

Then, and even better, 'Only the Lonely.' In which Natalie takes center stage, and I finally care about the Nick/Natalie ship, and I finally meet Natalie's darling cat! This one had a high level of suspense, and a high level of WTF. I actually like Natalie's coworker, but what kind of coworker gives lingerie as a present? That is the sole reserve of intimate partners! I full-body shuddered! And this episode has a crazy rapist-murderer running around!

Honestly, this episode just made me feel so bad for Natalie (again; her last limelight episode was no picnic either). She does work too hard. Her days off get interrupted. The guy she has devoted what little spare time she has to curing barely notices her. Her coworkers are inappropriate. She barely has time to shop for cat food. And the one guy who shows an interest is a total psycho.

Nick and Natalie have great arguments where I can see both their perspectives and Natalie doesn't automatically come across as wrong. They should argue more. It's fun.

Also, highly appreciated the flashbacks to Natalie meeting Nick (where else but her examining table). He tried to put the mind whammy on her and it failed. She is too strong willed. There's also an implication that the victim must want to forget, so that's interesting. Really good episode.

Could have done without the trip and fall, though.

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Endings almost in sight

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 19:00:06 GMT

I have used the energy and power of the rewind/fast forward button to mainline some Teen Wolf and make some progress with that WIP. I am down to three scenes in Counterclaims—all of which are from 'De-Void,' because I decided to write all the painful stuff first. I spent last night barreling through 'Insatiable' and am so, so glad to be almost through the bottleneck of having to describe character deaths and attendant responses. That part is all written and needed to be written and is done, and took forever because it legitimately upset me to work on it.

Meanwhile, when I first mapped the final chapter of the far rosier Sidelined, it had twenty necessary scenes overall, and over the course of writing, it has grown to twenty-eight. The story has been doing this since I started, so I'm not very surprised. Twelve of the scenes are still incomplete. The first chapter went up on March 21st last year, and I'm hoping I can at least beat that date, but can I finish it during this shortest month of the year? Will my remote control provide the energy boost needed to finally stagger past the checkered flag? Time will tell...

Serious goal for the year ahead: Shorter chapters. They snuck up on me and all of a sudden I realized I've been posting single chapters longer than the entire four chapters of Trust, and the resultant final edits and html take forever to weed through. And they're a lot to ask of a beta, I think. Shorter chapters! Seriously.

Erase/Rewind just got recontextualized as my ultimate anthem for frustrated fic writing.

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Doctor Who: An Unearthly Child

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 16:36:45 GMT

Okay, I watched the first three Doctor Who serials back at the end of December, but it took a while to get my thoughts to cohere into an actual post. I would love to keep going in order, but I don't know how feasible that is with the lost episodes. We'll see. This first episode was just fascinating, so the post got a little long. ( Read more... )

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Batteries not included

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 03:40:02 GMT

My new DVD player has been a lovely thing in many ways, but what I originally took for the fast forward and rewind buttons were actually skip scene buttons. Naturally, this is completely antithetical to ease of canon review (or just, "hey, I missed that line of dialogue, what?") so today I dug out the remote that came with the DVD player, and which I had blithely ignored heretofore. After all, I had reasoned, the DVD player comes with a host of buttons. Surely everything I need is already—

Wrong! In addition to no rewind, there is no mute, which is also super helpful in canon review (mute is truly the best way to hyper focus on body language, I have found).

So I dug out some AAA batteries (three left in the pack), installed them, pointed the remote at the screen, and excitedly clicked.

Nothing happened.

I pressed harder. Tried other buttons. Shook the remote mournfully. Dug out the manual, feeling ridiculous, because who needs a manual for using a remote control?

Sure enough, the manual just told me to put in batteries, point and click. Thanks.

So I popped the batteries out, planning to put them in again in opposite slots, and noticed one of them had a messed up end. Instantly disposed of that, scrubbed my hands and grabbed the remaining AAA battery, which looked fine. Snapped the remote closed, pointed, clicked...

Success!

I then amused myself for a few minutes rewinding, muting and otherwise enjoying the freedoms which come with a remote control.

This was a roundabout way of saying I haven't made a post in a week, and this was my way of rectifying that. :)

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Only so many stories...

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 01:20:52 GMT

Dear Self,

You are 35,657 words into your Jeremiah femslash story. You are in the final chapter, which is meant as a glorified epilogue. You just discovered that Femslash February is a thing, meaning if you hurry up, you can pretend your plodding pace was intentional. You are halfway through the chapter, with 5,621 words behind you and roughly the same amount to go.

THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE ADDING PLOT. PLOT CAN BE SAVED FOR OTHER STORIES.

Sincerely,
Smarter Self

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Signal boost: new Wuthering Heights comm

Sun, 01 Feb 2026 22:12:34 GMT

If anyone here happens to be interested in Wuthering Heights, a new comm just began a group read of the book and some really interesting conversations are happening over there! It's been a long time since I read the novel, and I am having a good time revisiting it.

our_souls_are_made_of

In the words of the administrator, bleodswean, whose brainchild this was:

"Come join us at a new Wuthering Heights community where we are beginning our Wuthering Heights read-a-long and will soon be discussing this complicated novel! Is it really a love story? Is Cathy certifiable? Does Heathcliff have a wounding story that justifies his revenge? Why is everyone so reprehensible? Or are they? Do the children shed the legacy of betrayal and rage?

There might be icon challenges! And fic prompts! And discussions of other writings female and gothic!"

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Snowflake Challenge #15

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 21:11:53 GMT

Challenge #15

How Did the Fandom Snowflake Challenge Go?

I'm glad I was able to answer all of the questions, even if a lot of them did center on socializing. I was not very comfortable crossposting most of them to the Snowflake hub, cutting down my ability to maybe meet some new people, but that's a me-thing, not a Snowflake-thing.

My favorite questions were the creative ones. Tropes, moods and the creative process. Lots of fun. I was very proud to wrangle some Highlander horse meta out of the question about pets, but there wasn't much interpretive leeway on the rest of the personal questions.

However, it did get me posting more, which was my chief goal in doing the challenge. This is my 21st post of the month, which is crazy!

So it was fun for a once off and now I get to focus on my backlog of other things, and hope my activity level doesn't fall off a cliff.

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Snowflake Challenge #14

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 17:51:06 GMT

Challenge #14

In your own space, create a promo and/or rec list for someone new to a fandom.

Yes, I know. You saw this coming. Honestly, it would be smarter if I picked a different show, because I've been talking about this one for a long time anyway, and it's actually hard for me to recommend it, because I end up thinking of so many caveats and content warnings when I try. I understand that no show is for everyone, and that's okay. So I wasn't really feeling this challenge the way I had hoped to.

But that was yesterday, and now my energy is low and it's so cold I broke out the fingerless gloves and I finally overheated the chimney last night (smoke detectors are a blessed invention, which let me shut it down before it became an actual chimney fire) and I am so happy with this proof that things can always get worse. So to cheer myself, hell with the well-reasoned argument. Hell with background and synopsising and trying to explain myself. You can find all of that online, and this is probably more fun to read. It was sure more fun to write.

Have some really frivolous reasons to watch Jeremiah!

-- It lets you play "spot the Canadian actor." Heck, this show is so Canadian, it lets you play "spot the reused Canadian film set." The old NORAD base of Thunder Mountain is Stargate SG-1's Cheyenne Mountain, sans Stargate. Thrill to the stunning array of guest stars!

-- It lets you stick it to The Man. The Man being MGM and the Showtime Network in this case. Don't you like underdog canceled TV shows that never had a chance? Does it warm your heart to adopt neglected little shows screwed by the network? Here is a new stamp for your collection!

-- Do you get tired of watching supposed experts like ex-SEALs blunder their way through stupid battle tactics to advance the post-apocalyptic plot? You're in luck, because the main characters on this show have received formal training in nothing! It's so relaxing! You will never find yourself going "why don't they use enfilading fire?" because these dumbass kids don't know about enfilading fire. They are totally winging it.

-- So many speeches. Rage against the heavens! Searing confessions! Declarations! Defiance! Poetry recitations!

-- Such pretty men! Such angsty men! Much argument and passion and fury!

-- Such pretty women! Such competent women! They might keep their angst well-hidden, but oh, is it there! Women who deserved so much more focus. Join me in my quest to give them love and adoration!

-- You don't believe how pretty they are? Here are my screenshots on Tumblr of all their pretty faces, from back when I was using that site.

-- So many shipping possibilities! Whether you prefer slash, femslash, or het, there are opportunities and crackling chemistry all over the place. This is a show about feeling things deeply, about the hunger for meaning and purpose and a place to belong. Look at all the sad-eyed orphans and realize you can adopt them for your very own!

-- Also, watching this show will let you understand all my endless blather on this subject, which I'm sure is a huge plus all on its own.

♥

If this has somehow convinced you to give it a chance, Jeremiah is available on Amazon Prime or free on Plex. It's only 35 episodes.

♥

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Snowflake Challenge #13

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 13:58:39 GMT

Challenge #13

TALK ABOUT A COMMUNITY SPACE YOU LIKE. It doesn’t need to be your favorite, or the one where you spend the most time (although it certainly can be). Maybe it’s even one that you’ve barely visited. But talk about that space and how it helps support fannish community.

This ended up being kind of a strengths and weaknesses for Dreamwidth and Discord post. They are the two places where I most frequently converse or observe others conversing, and here is what I have noticed. ( Read more... )

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FK rumination

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 02:35:08 GMT

I'm about halfway through season one and I find LaCroix creepy to an unusually visceral degree. This is a bit surprising to me, because I normally have a weakness for villains - but I like them with enough human qualities to relate to, to explore their moral choices and failings, and LaCroix is on another level entirely. Nigel Bennett does a great job portraying him, but if I was going to compare him to another vampire, it would be the older archetypes, the plague carriers.

I've been lurking in the HL discord, and there's a lot of discussion of the Horsemen going on, so it's on my mind, and the thing is, the Horsemen never felt very apocalyptic to me. They felt like four louts raising hell. LaCroix feels like true pestilence made flesh, a malignancy creeping at Nick's heels, a shadow filling the space where a man once lived and died (yes, I'm reading A Wizard of Earthsea right now, so pursuant shadows are on my mind). Genuinely, completely unsettling. More of a vampire than most vampires.

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Snowflake Challenge #12

Sun, 25 Jan 2026 19:52:54 GMT

Challenge #12

Make an appreciation post to those who enhance your fandom life.

I really owe so much to fandom. Without it, I would be in a very different and much lonelier place today. This exercise in appreciation will be under a cut. ( Read more... )

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Quick question

Sat, 24 Jan 2026 10:58:08 GMT

Why do they call it a flist? I keep running across the term on DW and feel like I'm missing something obvious.

Also, hello eighteen below zero wind-chill from Minnesota. I have not missed you.

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